Security announcement

This is a useless security announcement. Please do not do anything which could lead to useless security announcements. If you do anything, you may hear a useless security announcement which will sound like this: "This is a useless security announcement. Please do not do anything which could lead to a useless security announcement."

These announcements are made for your safety. Cameras are watching everything you do, for your safety. If being watched by unseen strangers doesn't make you feel safe, you're obviously up to something, which we knew already. We watched the thought cross your mind. That's the kind of thing that leads to useless security announcements, innit? Are you even listening? No? You can't even hear these announcements anymore, can you? Just like you don't notice the cameras. Hmm... Well, a placid citizen is a safe citizen. Safe for me.

Keep calm and and carry on.

Clusterfuck Recipe

You will need:

2 fucking fuckers
2.3 fucked fucks
6 fucked fuckers
1 fuck

1. Fuck the fucking fuckers with all the fucked fucks. Fuck until fucking fucked.

2. When the fucking fuckers are fucked, fuck them with fucked fuckers – then fucking fuck them while fucking the fuck. The fuck should be fucked, with fucking fuck on the fucked fuck-fucker. Fuck, then fuck again.

3. Fuck the fuckers. If not fucked, fuck until fucking fucked. Once fucked, fuck them with a fucking fuck, fucking each fuck-fucker like a fucked fucker fucks fucking fucks.

4. The fuck should be fucking fucked. Fuck it, fuck the fucking fuckers and fuck it all until fucking fucked to fuck.

5. Fuck until fucked.

6. Fuck!

"Let's keep the Jesus H. Christ in Christmas!"