Thursday, December 22, 2011

Security announcement

This is a useless security announcement. Please do not do anything which could lead to useless security announcements. If you do anything, you may hear a useless security announcement which will sound like this: "This is a useless security announcement. Please do not do anything which could lead to a useless security announcement."

These announcements are made for your safety. Cameras are watching everything you do, for your safety. If being watched by unseen strangers doesn't make you feel safe, you're obviously up to something, which we knew already. We watched the thought cross your mind. That's the kind of thing that leads to useless security announcements, innit? Are you even listening? No? You can't even hear these announcements anymore, can you? Just like you don't notice the cameras. Hmm... Well, a placid citizen is a safe citizen. Safe for me.

Keep calm and and carry on.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Overheard in Hampstead Heath today

"I just want to live somewhere nicer."
- A woman in an expensive coat, walking along toward Swain's lane and talking on her mobile.

He: "You're just standing up for yourself then, aren't you?"
She: "Yeah, I guess so. I'm just getting what I want. That's what people do, isnt't it? Just take what they need?"
He: "Yeah."
- A young couple walking back from the market.